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My "ballet" life

No, I never dreamt to be a ballet dancer when i was little.

And no, I didn't like dresses, fairytales, or any “normal” girly stuff!! 

What I did love was doing flips and tricks, motorbikes and to beat my boy friends in arm wrestling competitions…

So at the age of 10, my mum, concerned i would turn into a little boy, made the decision for me and brought me to my first ballet class…

Me before class: “Ballet?? Please Mamy, everything but ballet…

”My teacher after class: “She doesn't have anything to become a ballet dancer!”

Me: Ok, I´ll. show you!!!

THAT´S HOW IT ALL STARTED…

But it didn't take long before I was completely in love…

Dancing soon become my passion, my life, my everything.

At the age of 13 i moved to Milan, leaving everything and everyone behind.

At the age of 15 i was in London . After that, Zurich and Oslo.

On paper, it sounds like the perfect life right?

I was paid to do what i loved the most. My job was my passion.

Reality is that despite the dazzling tutus and tiaras, the life of a ballet dancer is anything but glamorous.

The amount of training it takes to reach the top of the ballet world almost requires to give up your entire life.

You wanna know how a “normal” day looked like?

I would wake up around 6.30, short breakfast and than gym (running and strength training).

8 hours of ballet practice after, I would probably go to the gym again (I couldn't miss my pilates/physio/yoga/stretching exercises). 

By 19.00 i would roll myself home, eat a salad, ice my feet and go to bed.

If I had a show, I had the luxury of having a lunch break that didn't last 30 min and a power nap before spending quite some time in the make up department, getting dressed and start the routine all over again.

Home by 11pm/ midnight. Sleep. Repeat.

Oh,  and Voltaren is our best friend, we spend more time with our physios than our partners….and complaining about everything and everyone seems to be “the thing” to do.

Does that sound glamorous to you?

 

Having said that…ballet is and always will be the LOVE of my life.

I can still remember the excitement before going on stage. The lights, the smell. 

And once you’re on..it’s you. 

You feel light. You feel beautiful.

The orchestra is  playing, the lights are shining and you get lost in your dream.

You become the Princess, the Fairy, the Juliett, the Clara. The music leads the movement and the eyes of your partner guide you through whatever you need to do.

You trust. You share. You love.

That’s when all the hard work, unfairness, pains and tears suddenly don’t matter any more.

What i felt in these moments is something impossible for me to describe with words…it is memories I will never forget.

 

I wish this complicated love story had an happy ending… 

It was 2 years ago that in a snap of fingers, or more precise…of an ankle… that I was woken up from my dream and thrown into a reality that i didn’t know anything about.

Was that easy? No, it was devastating actually.

Did I ever accept it? I am working on it.

What I do know, is that I can now look back and see how lucky i have been. Life will challenge you with upsets and downs, but the good memories are the strongest. And then…new opportunities arrive when you work for them. Maybe even triggered by something learned from the past, making the memories useful for more than own joy…

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